A few days ago, as I was talking with my trainer, I was hit with both relief and disappointment. On Instagram, I follow a medical professional and well-known bodybuilder. She has a butt that I desperately want to build. It’s a goal of mine that help keeps me going. She’s been doing this much longer than I have, but looking at her progress and seeing her muscle motivates me. I was sharing this with my trainer when he told me that she uses oil injections. That’s pretty common on Instagram and in bodybuilding because it creates the shape that she has.
I was relieved that what I was looking at wasn’t real, but I was also disappointed. I was upset that this woman didn’t make it clear that some of her muscle was fake and instead set an unrealistic standard. Then I was slightly annoyed because I felt misled. I see all these examples of how to pose and the importance of good lighting to highlight your muscles. Her pictures looked like muscle.
But as we talked and my trainer pointed out the discoloration, I realized I had totally missed it. My eyes were opened to the fakeness of it all and it felt both relieving, knowing that the standards I thought I wasn’t meeting were fake, but also disappointing because what I looked up to was never real.
Overall, I feel better because I know I’ll be entering an all-natural bodybuilding competition. My competitors are much less likely to have injections like that so I feel more prepared.
As I mentioned in my last post, the bodybuilding process is rare at my age. Because of that, I struggle to figure out what my journey is supposed to look like. Not to mention, I’ve only been working at this for about a year. I wanted my process to be real and honest and visible. I decided to track my progress so I had some fitness photos done by the fabulous Noe Vier, I highly recommend his business. You can see the images I had taken at the end of April here. (Please note: these are copyrighted. They cannot be used for any purposes without his or my permission.)
I want to emphasize the importance of tracking your growth. It can be so difficult to see how much we grow–there’s a whole tree/forest metaphor about this that I can never seem to remember. For me, it’s difficult to see my progress because I want to be 6’+ with long legs. But the reality is that’s never going to happen; I’m 5’2. Still, I wanted to share the process with you and I want to show you the photos Noe took of me. These are not photoshopped, as you will see here.
I realized another truth about myself at the gym recently. Sometimes I give myself too much credit, but often I also give myself too little credit. Because of this, I’ve started to use a clipboard. I have to write down each set as I do it or I’ll convince myself I did the full four sets when I only really did three (too much credit). Other times, I really can’t remember. On the other hand, I don’t give myself enough credit when it comes to my strength. I’ve noticed my tendency to make the weight lower than it needs to be because I think I’m not capable of lifting a heavier weight. We really are our own worst enemies.
As for my focus in the bodybuilding process, I need to work on posing. It’s such an important part of bodybuilding, almost as much as actually having muscle. The idea is to show the best angles to the judges. I practice, but it’s difficult. I have to wear heels, flex, hold the flex, and try not to breathe too much. It’s a lot to think about and I need to get it right because I only have a few seconds to show each pose and emphasize my muscles.
I want to share a TED talk with you. I’m still doing cardio for two hours each day, in addition to lifting. I really need the entertainment and the distraction during that time. These TED talks I’ve been listening to have really helped pass time. There’s one from Stanford about brain design that I’ve listened to several times by Bill Burnett. It’s fascinating! If you’re stuck in your life or aren’t sure what decision to make, he talks about how to work through that. I highly recommend it!
There are several things I’ve learned about myself this week and I wanted to list the highlights for you.
- I am doing enough and don’t need to overwork myself. More is not always better.
- I need more sleep. I started going to bed at 8:30pm. I had to let go of judging myself for that. I used to think only old people go to bed at that hour. Maybe that’s true, but so do people who get up at 4am and work out for several hours a day on top of working full time and raising adult children.
- I only need ½ a scoop of preworkout. I tried ½ and felt good so I moved up to ¾ of a scoop. Preworkout has some caffeine in it and I was crashing by 10am when I used ¾ of a scoop. Again, more is not always better.
- I’m letting go of the job I’ve had for the past two years and trying to find something new. I’m excited/scared about that. More (years) is not always better. I’m looking forward to the next part of my teaching journey.
- I’ve become more accustomed to the whitefish and egg whites meal plan, or at least I’ve adjusted to it. It’s almost inconsequential. But thank the Lord for reset day!
- The best salads in the world are the ones someone else makes. Thank you to my youngest daughter for often making me a salad for dinner and another to take to work for lunch.
- I did it! I found the limit on how much whipped cream one person wants to eat. It was a great experience and now I am ready to move on. If you read last week’s blog post you know I was extremely excited to eat all the whipped cream I could. This week was different, it wasn’t really what my body wanted. I found my limit.
- My reset day has moved from thinking about all the sweets I can’t wait to eat to indulging in more protein, which was actually a surprise to me. The protein is something I really look forward to and practically crave. I had Thai food this week and it was amazing!
Another important lesson I learned this week that really deserves its own category is that bodybuilding is a very expensive sport! Be prepared! Here’s some of the breakdown:
- Bikini $400 to $1500, even if I rent it’s pricey
- Tanning pre-show: no idea, I haven’t even looked yet (maybe $10 each session)
- Day of my competition Spray Tan: $100 (the other option is have my friends paint my naked body…um, no)
- Day of show makeup $50
- Day of show hair $60
- Entry fee: varies but let’s go with $100
- Brazilian wax $70
- GoFundMe fees: unknown
- This doesn’t include all the things I do regularly: trainer, gym fees, pre workout, etc.
So that lesson led me to a new experience: I had to start a GoFundMe account.
If you watch the Ted Talk I mentioned above, let me know what you think. I highly recommend it. And I’d love it if you could donate to my bodybuilding fund, any amount for my GoFundMe helps!
If you are considering going keto and want someone to help, message me and let’s set up a time to get you started. Thanks again for reading!
Vintage Vitality 